If Only, Then Syndrome.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I over think things. Particularly the stuff that has happened in the past. I get stuck on the idea of wishing I could change what happened somehow. I go over and over stuff, again and again trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Now don’t get me wrong, looking back at stuff and figuring out what you can do different next time is fine, it’s when you go over something 50 times and kick yourself just as many times over something you can’t or couldn’t control is when it becomes a problem. That’s when it turns into the “If only, then syndrome.” Example: If only I hadn’t of quite violin when I was 10, then I would be a better musician now. If only I hadn’t taken this job, then maybe my ex wouldn’t have broken up with me. If only I had more money and could buy cooler clothes, then maybe people would like me more. The problem with this way of thinking is it doesn’t do you any good. You can’t change the past. It’s already gone. You dwelling on it won’t help in any way, shape or form. Don’t get stuck on the “If only, thens” of life because they only lead to you wishing for something made up. You don’t know if that would have actually changed anything. You can’t know and focusing on that will only make you unhappy. I know how easy it is to focus on “If only, thens” but you can’t let your identity be rapped up in them. Don’t forget what you have right now and what you’re working toward for the future. Because “If only, thens” hurt more than help and spending your energy on more productive thinking is always a better choice.