A Realization?

Oh my gosh. That moment when you realize you are the “Big Person” kids look up to… That is a scary thought… Like um wait so some kid thinks I’m the coolest person ever? Like how? I’m me… I don’t always feel special, pretty, or lovable, I barely feel human half the time and the other half I’m way too human. Why would you like me of all people? Yet I know of quite a few little girls from scouts who are delighted everytime I say hi to them. I didn’t have big girls in scouts to look up to at their age. But I remember looking at the big high school girls when I was little and thinking they were the most beautiful, kindest people in the entire world. I totally adored them. I wanted to be just like them! Now I’m that age I realize I don’t need to be just like them because I’m not them. This also means my choices affect the little ones too not just me because they are always watching what I do. I still look up to those people. I know how they treated me with love and kindness and I want to do the same to the girls who are younger than me. They were examples to me and it’s my turn to be the same for the next set of girls. Because everyone needs to know they are loved.