It Takes Confidence To Be Yourself

So I am going, to be honest here. I am weird. I’m also a nerd. (But that’s a story for another day.) One of the things that makes me obviously weird is my style. I go back and forth between wanting to wear things that say, “I could kick your butt if I wanted to” and “I am basically the real-life version of a Disney Princess.” The problem is there isn’t really an in-between of those two. So, for a long while, I was very conflicted. I always considered myself a very confident person, so I was confused about why I felt so conflicted. Then one day I realized I associated the second opinion of being cute with people seeing me as a little kid. When I was little I was obsessed with pink, dresses, as well as anything and everything fairy tale related. A few things to note about me, I am short, I also look young for my age and I have a rather free spirit about me so as a result I get mistaken for being younger than I am most of the time. This was very frustrating for me when I was younger and made me not want to encourage this thought process by the way I dressed.

As I get older, however, this mistake has become less common and I realized that I still really enjoy the things I liked as a kid. But I still felt the same resistance to them at the same time. Then one day I asked myself why I was so conflicted, and I realized it was because I was afraid people would judge me. I was honestly so surprised to realize that. I’ve spent a lot of time building my self-confidence and to realize a major part of my style was based on this hidden insecurity shocked me.

The reason I felt so conflicted was that I didn’t want people to think I was weird or judge me if I showed up one day looking one way and another the next. I felt pressured to pick one, but I couldn’t because they’re both a part of me. Once I realized that I felt a ton of relief. Insecurities are exhausting. They insist that you make decisions based purely on other people’s subjective opinions. Those opinions change, and they are very hard to follow. When you live based on that kind of thinking you subject yourself to the constant disappointment it leads to and the feeling of never being good enough. This is not good for you on any level.

Here is why this matters. If you want to be the best. If you want to change the world. If you want to do something in your life worthwhile you have to be willing to be judged. You must accept the fact that people are going to look at you and think you’re weird possibly even close family members. Until you can ignore haters and keep going despite what they say, you will never get to that dream inside your head.

Now you might be thinking but, “Tori you were talking about clothes, that’s not even the same thing!” Let me explain. If I can’t overcome being judged by something as simple as my style. How on earth am I going to be able to handle the judgment on things that truly matter?

When I realized what the reason for being conflicted was, I felt a sense of relief because it meant that I could finally be myself. I wasn’t fighting anymore and could enjoy the freedom that provided. Maybe you think I’m being silly spending an entire blog post on this topic, but I know so many girls who pick their clothes and what they like based on what others’ opinions are. They think they need to be up to date on all the fashion brands or products. They think they need to be skinnier or have bigger breasts for people to like them. They let others tell them how to live their life just, so they can fit in. But what they don’t realize is fitting in makes you boring and easy to forget. I use this a lot but its true teachers don’t remember the kids who followed the rules but that could always point out the troublemaker. So be confident enough to be yourself because honestly, most people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you. At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to look in the mirror and as long as you like what you see that’s all that matters. It takes Confidence to be yourself but the more you give yourself the freedom to be yourself the more confidence you’ll be.