Surprising Truth About the Word No

When I was a little kid my parents taught me a phrase it goes like this, “No means no and don’t ask again.” That’s fine for an annoying 3rd grader but let’s be honest that’s not how the real world works.

I realized about a year or two ago how wrong that saying really was while listening to an audiobook about sales by Grant Cardone. (I think it was Sell or Be Sold, I listened to a lot of his books.) Grant talks about mistaken beliefs we teach children to “keep them safe” that lead to problems as adults. That’s a story for another day. But it got me thinking what beliefs I was taught as a child that are toxic as an adult and that little phrase about no is one of them.

Why? Because when someone tells you no it doesn’t normally mean no forever. Don’t get me wrong on occasion it does. But most of the time no really means not right now. This goes for jobs, relationships, and other things. There are a lot of things in my life that I can look back on that at the time felt like a no but were really just not right nows. For example in high school I was in debate. My first year I didn’t win a single debate round. It felt like I was being told no to debate. But by the time I started my last year I was able to kick off the start of that semester as 10th in the nation! It took years and practice and I’m still not as good as I want to be but at the beginning it was just a not right now. Another context for this meaning is in sales when a cold call or  customer says no it means not right now. Maybe you just called at the wrong time or day. Maybe they just made a big purchase. Maybe they are just in a bad mood and it’s just not a yes kind of day. That’s okay don’t think of it as a rejection just as a not right now. Put them on your every 3 months list and check back later people change their mind.

Another meaning for the word no is “I have something better for you.” This one I use in the context of faith more often than not. Because I phrase it as if God is saying it. Like for example a in a material sense or in a relationship. God will allow a current relationship to fall apart because he has something better for you. I am currently seeing this example in my personal life and let me tell you the pain is worth it! In Jeremiah 29:11 God says, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans for good and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope.” It may be hard to see now but whenever God says no it means there is a bigger better yes coming. That doesn’t always mean it’ll be there right away it may take some time and faith but it will come.

So to recap no doesn’t really mean no it means not right now and I have something better for you!